Tag Archives: Tom Hanks

The Dark and Dangerous Descent of Actors

Pacific Coast News
Pacific Coast News

Please email Stephen all of your movie, TV, and random entertainment questions: stephenthescoop@hotmail.com


All actors are not created equal, no matter what you read about actors describing their “process” for preparing for a movie and how they get into character.  Sure, most actors put in months of research in preparation to play a role that might entail shooting a gun, playing a cop, or playing an instrument.  The majority of the time, studios will pair an actor with an expert on the profession they are attempting to portray, so some of the more subtle things see natural.

Warner Bros
Warner Bros

For instance, when Matt Damon was preparing to play Police Officer Colin Sullivan in The Departed, he spent time with a Massachusetts State Police unit where he learned how to properly do a pat down, he went on a raid, and rode along with various officers on patrol.  All of that is good preparation, but that is what separates a solid actor like Matt Damon from other actors who rolecan win an Oscar every single time they appear in a movie.

The list of actors and actresses who can pull that off is smaller than you might think, and what separates them from the rest of the pack is that they are so methodical in their acting and preparation that it can be borderline dangerous.  When I think of the people who have a legitimate chance of winning an Academy Award with each movie, it is a fairly small list in relation to the volume of working actors in Hollywood right now.


Here is a version of what I think that list could look like:

Daniel Day Lewis (DDL is the reigning GOAT and only actor to win 3 Best Actor Oscars.)

Leonardo DiCaprio (This is the hardest sell since he’s never won, but I honestly believe Leo is one of the best around.)

Tom Hanks (He has 2 wins and 5 nominations, but he’s starting to slow down)

Meryl Streep (I think it’s easy for her to get nominated because of her name, but winning isn’t the same.  15 nominations and 2 wins is still impressive.)

Cate Blanchett (She’s the best working actress in Hollywood and it is not close.)

mirror.uk
mirror.uk

Christian Bale (I am much more surprised by this than you are, trust me. I was never a fan of his early on.)

Sean Penn (The former Mr. Madonna has 2 wins and 5 nominations.)

Kate Winslet (Kate has notched 6 nominations and just 1 win.)

You could possibly make the case for Hillary Swank or Joaquin Phoenix, but those are hard sells to me.  I think Phoenix is one of the most talented actors in Hollywood, but he is also a legit crazy person which keeps him from being nominated more than he has.


So that is the entire list: eight total people who have a legit chance of WINNING an Oscar each and every time they appear on screen.  So what separates them from everyone else?  What puts them in the category of award-winning caliber and also box office successes?

The answer for me is fairly simple; it is the way they descend into a character to sometimes scary levels, and voluntarily transform their body in sometimes scary ways.  I want to call this the Heath Ledger Corollary, but I’m not sure he is the best example. He’s the most well-known example, which is different, but it is also a great place to start.

pintrest
pintrest

Ledger was on the rise as someone who could make the category above, but when he was cast as The Joker, the wheels fell off so much that he could never recover.  There were numerous reports that he locked himself in an apartment for a month prior and after shooting, and never broke character the entire time.  There were also reports that he would show up to set on his days off, in character, to watch creepily from the back in a way that seriously disturbed everyone on set.  We all know how that ended, but what we don’t know is how much of that was mental stress that he brought on himself because of his commitment, and how much of it was him taking drugs and falling off of the rails.  The answer probably lies somewhere between the two.  The reason I have been thinking about this is that there are already reports from the set of Suicide Squad that Jared Leto, a renowned method actor, has sent gifts to his costars in the forms of a live rat in a black box, bullets, and a dead hog with a video of him in character.  Is Leto heading down the same path as Ledger did?  Is there something about method actors and The Joker that makes it too hard to shake?  I’m sure there isn’t, and I don’t want to practice overreacting to certain things like that, because that is serious subject matter and I’m not one to make light of that topic.

imgur
imgur

What I am sure of is that The Joker is unique to any other character, especially any other villain, in any form, from any movie.  As someone who has read 1000s of Batman comics, I can say without pause that The Joker is the scariest villain you could ever imagine.  He is completely insane, but also has a split personality, and can go from “over the top” scary to “having a quiet conversation in a car with a dead person that he killed” subtle-scary in a second.  To take that on as a method actor could absolutely be overwhelming, but I’m sure Leto will be fine and shake it off eventually.  I am not comparing the two actors; just the menacing psychosis that I’m sure would infect anyone who pretended to be that for months at a time.

I’m not the only one who thinks that, because this time with The Joker around, the filmmakers have what they are calling a “Life Coach” on set at all times because of the very dark subject matter that will be in this movie. There aren’t any reports of any talks he has had with anyone, but when Leto dives into a character, he goes deep, and I’m curious to see him on the other side of that evil coin once filming has ended.  What I expect to see is an actor who is on his way to the “every time” Oscar category we touched on earlier, and someone who can get any role he wants.

That is how he breaks into the categor,y and is also what separates the category from the rest of the field.  If you look at that group, all of them are fully capable of disappearing into a role and not coming out until they are done filming.  Daniel Day Lewis might be the best example since he is the acting GOAT of a generation, and the only 3-time Oscar winner for Best Actor.

reddit
reddit

This is a man who takes very few roles, but please don’t try to argue that anyone else is better than him at acting or preparation for a role.  Your kneejerk reaction is say that Tom Hanks is the best actor of his generation, and he is a terrific actor and an American treasure, but he is not better than D. DayLewis has won 3 Oscars to Hanks’ 2, but Lewis has taken on 28 acting roles to get that and Hanks has taken on 76.  That, ladies and gentlemen, is what they call killing it!  DDL sinks so far into roles that when he played Christy Brown in My Left Foot, he refused to get out of his wheelchair for the duration of the role, and not only that, he refused to even sit up straight so as to not break character.  That commitment is what got him the Oscar, but it also got him 2 broken ribs from the stress and over a year of physical therapy to recover.

reddit
reddit

That is incredible to me! When you read stories of Christian Bale dropping down to 120 pounds to play a role, and then turning around and gaining 90 pounds to play Batman eight months later, it seems like a good story, and it is, but it is also incredibly dangerous.  Those types of physical transformations take their toll on a body and mind, and it’s something that these type of actors do on a regular basis, which I think is taken for granted.  That is why I worry when I see a method actor taking on a role like The Joker or when I read that actors are struggling with drug abuse.

There have been some tragic examples of this, with the likes of Heath Ledger and Phillip Seymour Hoffman, but that is where this corollary shouldn’t be a surprise, and one that we should be on the lookout for.  These people do this for their craft, they do it for us, but they also leave behind families, so keep that in mind the next time you see someone lose weight or you hear a rumor about drug abuse.  These people are better at their jobs than we are at ours, and it is something that I think about when I can forget that someone is award-winning famous for two hours and just be impressed by the performance.  It’s an amazing transformation!


Stephen Balding is the Entertainment Badass for The Scoop. Follow him on Twitter at @StephenB_41.

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Stick the Landing: A Final Season SNL Cast

NBC
NBC

Please email Stephen all of your movie, TV, and random entertainment questions: stephenthescoop@hotmail.com

If you read my column about SNL40, then you know that Saturday Night Live is my favorite show that has ever been on television.  I’ve watched every episode spanning all 40 years, and I think about its historical impact all the time.  So after reflecting on the 40th Anniversary Special and wondering what happens with Lorne Michaels and the current cast, I had some thoughts on how the show would end.  I’m not sure how much longer the show will continue, or if Michaels is even thinking about retirement, but I do know the one thing that Lorne will not do is let the show struggle to the finish line.

NBC
NBC

Eventually the show will right the ship, and eventually there will be a plan on ending the show when that time comes.  What will the end look like, and how much of a tribute will the last season be when it comes to reflection on the entire run of the program?  When that planning process starts, there will be people much smarter than I am that will ensure the show ends on a high note, but that’s not going to stop me from offering up my idea of how the show should ride off into the sunset.

My idea is simple; the final season of Saturday Night Live should be an “All-Star” season for the cast and hosts.  Yes, Lorne prides himself on finding new talent, but what if some of the best cast members came back for one more season?  If we learned anything from SNL40, it is that everyone who has spent any amount of time with Lorne Michaels has a tremendous amount of respect for him, which is the basis for my idea.  Sure, there are some former cast members who have careers too big to stop for an entire year to come back, but with so many to choose from, I think we can put together a cast that would be a dream for any and all SNL fans.

Here are the ground rules I followed when assembling the cast:

  1. Does the person still have enough left in the comedy tank to perform at a high level for 20 episodes?
  2. Is the person at a point in their career where it would be plausible that they would take a year to be on the show for the final season?
  3. Does the person fill a specific role in the cast and are they willing to play background characters to fill out a sketch?

The third rule is the most important to me, because if you had a final season with a 20-person cast, then several would get lost during the season, either by wearing down towards the end of the season, or being difficult to work with to the point that writers ignore them.  Each and every person on the cast needs to be willing to play smaller roles in other’s sketches because the cast needs to be smaller for this to work, so cast members who are nice and willing to help are going to fit best from a chemistry standpoint.

We need to fill out 8 spots for cast members, and if someone doesn’t make the cast, then they will be moved to a hosting spot in one of the 20 episodes.  The entire season is about the best cast members, the best hosts in SNL history coming back, and musical guests who resonate with the show.  Most importantly, the material is going to be all new, so there will be no video tributes that take up a third of each show.  So let’s run through the cast and then decide on the perfect hosts to go along with them.  Remember there are only 8 cast spots available, so there are going to be some great people left off of this list.


The Cast:

Bill Hader

NBC
NBC

I know that he just left the show and that he is having success in movies, and will soon have much more when Trainwreck comes out this summer, but if asked, he is definitely coming back to the show.  He has spoken many times about how much he loved the show growing up, and he is also one of the nicest people on the planet, so there is no chance he turns down this chance.  Plus, he is one of the best character actors that has ever been on stage in 8H. Also, he fills any role that is needed, from lead character, to a father/doctor type, to a weird guy walking through a scene, and he is happy to play all of them.  Bill Hader is the type of performer who will hold a cast like this together, and he has to be the first phone call.

Tina Fey

NBC
NBC

She might be the hardest to get, but with her writing ability and how she killed it on Weekend Update, she needs to be there.  She is writing and filming movies, and has had a great career post SNL, but to be the last anchor and head writer for the final season is something that she would feel is too important to pass on.  Having a woman in those positions would carry a certain weight, for sure, but Tina is also the most qualified person for the job.  Lorne knows this and would do anything possible to make it happen.

Dana Carvey

NBC
NBC

If Bill Hader isn’t the best character actor in the history of the show, then it is Dana Carvey.  He did so many characters on SNL and knows that drill as well as anyone.  He might be the most flexible person of our entire All Star cast.  It would be great to have Mike Myers, too, but I don’t see him coming back for an entire season after the billions he has made. Could he be talked into hosting though…

Maya Rudolph

NBC
NBC

Kristen Wiig would be the dream here, but she is going hard after a movie career and probably couldn’t be talked into coming back.  That doesn’t matter though because Maya Rudolph was and still is one of the funniest women on the planet.  She is as underappreciated now as she was during her time on the show.  There are only so many spots to fill and she is the most versatile woman here.  She can fill out the Diva role as quickly as she can fill out the nerdy girl pining for Randy through the homeroom window.

Chris Parnell

NBC
NBC

Parnell is the ultimate straight-man for this cast.  My favorite Parnell is the Parnell who is having insane stuff happening to him that he just doesn’t understand.  Plus, if you are going to have a straight-man with a hidden talent, why not have that talent be amazing rapping skills?

Jon Lovitz

NBC
NBC

I’m not sure that there is a more unique voice in the history of the show than Lovitz.  Sure, he has gotten a reputation recently for being very difficult, but he would behave in the middle of this amount of talent, and even if he didn’t, at least there would be some great behind-the-scenes drama.

Kenan Thompson

NBC
NBC

Kenan has to be a part of this cast and you will never convince me otherwise.  I’ll never understand why he isn’t recognized more for his ridiculous talent and timing.  He can carry a sketch, be a key player, or just have one line that he kills time and time again.  Kenan Thompson for life, bitches!

Will Ferrell

NBC
NBC

This might be the biggest stretch of anyone on my list, but he might also be the one that is the easiest to get if it came down to it.  Ferrell left SNL and went on to be the face of comedy in movies, which made him one of the biggest stars in the world, but that flame has dimmed in recent years, and he’s not hitting grand slams at the box office anymore.  On top of that, Will Ferrell is so incredibly nice that if Lorne asked him, I don’t see any way he says no.  Having Will Ferrell means you have someone who carries the cast week in and week out, since he is either one or two on everyone’s list of best cast members.   This does not work without that top guy, and nobody has the chops to pull it off more than he does.


The hosts and musical guests:

I’m not going to list out week by week who I think should host and be the musical guest, but I do want to list a group of people who need to be on the final season, without exception.

NBC
NBC

Paul Simon and Justin Timberlake both need to fill both roles during the course of the season, and you could make an argument that JT should be on the show as much as possible.  You could even make the case that he could be a member of this cast.  That guy has so much talent, and it would be great to see him attempt a season as a full-time cast member.  As for Paul Simon, he was the host and musical guest for the second show ever and has been a staple of the show ever since.

As far as the hosts, there is a list of people that have become an important part of the history of the show.  Tom Hanks was the first person that hosted twice in one season, Alec Baldwin has hosted more than anyone, and Christopher Walken has killed it as host in 3 different decades.  As for the rest, Martin Short, John Goodman, and Steve Martin are on the list for what they have meant, and for still having what it takes to knock it out of the park.

NBC
NBC

The other hosts are going to be a tribute to the best cast members in SNL history who are not a part of the full All Star cast.  Jimmy Fallon, Mike Myers, Kristen Wiig, Adam Sandler, and Andy Samberg have all had huge success and need to make a victory lap during the final season.  Any of them can carry a show by themselves and would be great teamed up with Pearl Jam, Paul McCartney, or especially Timberlake with Fallon or Samberg.

The one host that Lorne has to go hard for is Eddie Murphy, and Lorne has to be the one to do it since he is the main reason Eddie hasn’t been back in a sketch since leaving the show.  Eddie is the greatest cast member in the history of the show, and single-handedly saved the show from being cancelled.  The problem though, is that Lorne was absent during those years and doesn’t have the connection to him that others feel. This is a huge problem.  It HAS to be resolved though because the show would not be on the air

NBC
NBC

today without Eddie Murphy putting it on his back.  Nobody has meant more to the show, and yet nobody is appreciated less than him, and that needs to be corrected before the end of the final season.


That is my entire list and plan for the farewell season of SNL, and for my money you cannot do any better as far as a send-off.  Sure, it would be great to have Mike Myers and Adam Sandler, but realistically that is not happening.  The best thing about this list is that it is very plausible and combines the best group for chemistry purposes…and Lovitz.


Stephen Balding is the Entertainment Badass for The Scoop. Follow him on Twitter at @StephenB_41.

The End is Near!!!

smosh
smosh

A Monday morning tradition of mine is to go to work, pour a cup of coffee, and discuss the events of The Walking Dead from the previous night. I read the comic books back in 2003 when they first came out, and the show is just as enjoyable for several reasons, but most importantly (to me) is talking about what just happened, and what you think might happen next.

So, on Monday, the first part of the morning is spent discussing the previous night’s events with my friend/co-worker/Singstar badass, Jenifer.

AMC
AMC

We have our individual “which main character is most likely to die next” power rankings (my list is 1. Carol, 2. Carl!!!, 3. Tyrese, 4. Michonne, 5. Maggie), and her consistent take from the show always includes her saying, “I don’t care what happens on the show, but if they kill off Daryl I’m going to lose my shit.” Never underestimate what a woman is capable of when she is in love with a bad boy with a crossbow and a heart of gold. Heads will roll if Daryl is ever killed.

These conversations got my wheels turning about what might happen if the apocalypse ever happened. Are there are signs that it’s coming and we just missed them? Which celebrities would survive? Why are there no celebrities on the show?

Harpo Productions
Harpo Productions

It makes me laugh to think of Oprah with a machine gun, going off Scarface-style in a field of walkers, yelling, “YOU GET A BULLET! YOU GET A BULLET! EVERYYYYONE GETS A BULLET!!” Don’t think for a second that Oprah isn’t running shit when it goes down.

With Halloween upon us and so many questions and theories to work through, we should work through this together. We need a plan of attack for whom to kill first, and we need to look for the signs that are already there.

I’m not trying to make an apocalypse plan for you that has been done more times than anyone cares to read. What we are doing here is trying to determine what the current version of the world will look like after patient zero bites that first poor bastard in the face. What is the fallout, and who will come out the victor? The way I see it, there are 3 separate questions that need to be answered.

  1. What were the signs that led us on a collision course to the apocalypse?
  2. Which celebrities would form the best zombie killing crew?
  3. Who would be the hardest zombie to kill?

Once we have answered these questions, then you can all sleep better at night knowing that if the zombie shit hits the fan, you at least know this is on record for future generations. Consider this the black box for them to use while unraveling where it all went wrong.

Let’s get started…


What were the signs that led us on a collision course to the apocalypse?

Clearly the signs are everywhere now, but how far back are we willing to go to look?

flickr
flickr

I’m not going too far back because I don’t want to ruin my childhood completely. The further back that you go, the more depressing it will be, trust me. You don’t believe me? I’m telling you that if I give you an example, it will bum you out. Why won’t you just leave this alone? We can just stick to more recent examples and it won’t ruin your day. Are you sure? Ok, fine, but remember that you wanted this. It’s on you now, don’t blame me.

Let’s think back to the simpler times of 1989. A time when Tom Hanks hadn’t done any dramatic work yet and was still a year away from hosting SNL a record twice in one year. He was just a funny, fun-loving guy who made us laugh with a little movie about him a dog that America fell in love with. Turner and Hooch was so much fun, right? How could you think back to that movie and have it ruin your day with a sign that the world was moving in the wrong direction? I’ll tell you how….

find a grave
find a grave

Hooch the Dog died within three years after the movie was released, and has now been dead for 22 years. Did he get his own picture on the “In Memoriam” montage at the Oscars that year? No. Did anyone give him the respect that he deserved? Nope. There was no sad song sung over a video of him, and that, in my opinion, is where society started its downward spiral. Don’t worry Hooch, your life and death won’t go unnoticed in this column. I’m pouring one out for you buddy. RIP!

As hard as it might be to believe, Hooch the Dog is our patient zero of apocalypse signs. Where did it go from there? It’s too long to catalog each step, but from Hooch to Justin Beiber to clowns roaming the streets, there is a long list of signs, each more nightmarish than the last. So instead of sappy videos about pets that have never made you laugh, how about we start paying attention to the dog from Beethoven before it’s too late?


Which celebrities would form the best zombie killing crew?

Finally! Forget about figuring out the economy; someone has needed to get to the bottom of this topic for entirely too long. We are going to answer this by playing The Walking Dead game. You know about The Walking Dead game, right? No? Ok, well The “who would be who” Walking Dead game is where you take your friends, celebrities, or pretty much anyone, and see what role they would fit if you put them into The Walking Dead crew. I like to think of myself as the badass of the group just like Daryl, walking around with a crossbow, but I’m afraid I’d be closer to Carol, the wild card who might end up with psychopath kids running around me that might have to be shot in the face. You should absolutely play this game at home. It is endless hours of entertainment just waiting to be explored.

Quick example of how it works: Of all of the Dallas-Fort Worth media, who would you put as Rick, the leader? Who would be the first to have his or her face bitten off? Who would be the Maggie/Glenn power couple that will stick together until the end?

Rick is definitely NBC DFW’s David Finfrock!

NBCDFW.com
NBCDFW.com

Don’t you think for a second that this mild-mannered meteorologist isn’t painting his face and going on a John Rambo-type warpath when all hell breaks loose. Anyone who has the confidence to rock that mustache on air for this long is hiding some massive zombie killing balls. He is going to wreck shit for sure….“I’m David Finfrock, bitch, and today there a 100% chance of sleeveless shirts and zombie dick punching!”

Jamie KellyThe first one killed out of the gate is none other than our very own founder and CEO of The Scoop, Jamie Kelly. Sorry Jamie, but anyone that gets owned by a plastic bucket on a random weekday isn’t lasting an hour with zombies on the loose.

The Maggie/Glenn power couple is the most obvious of all of them. Radio hosts and noted BFFs Ben and Skin are a no doubt choice for the post apocalypse power couple.

@nick_pants
@nick_pants

Killing zombies hand-in-hand during the day and holding each other in the rain at night to keep each other warm, and, if they are being completely honest with each other, because they are scared. Will there be some turmoil? Of course there will, especially when Ben needs some alone time after Skin’s 14th a Capella version of Kool Moe Dee’s “Wild Wild West,” which he is certain would be the apocalypse theme song if they could just find a way back on the radio. But in the end, they are just the two crazy guys to root for through it all. I hope they make it.

So, for celebrities we need one person for each role needing to be filled, and you have to think big picture. No one person is bigger than the group, so it has to be a good fit. Here are all of the roles that need to be filled:

  • Rick – The leader of the group who stops at nothing to make sure everyone is safe.
  • Daryl – The badass and bad boy who you can depend on in the direst of circumstances.
  • Hershel – The voice of reason who keeps everyone from going too far to remember what they are really fighting for.
  • Carol– The wild card who comes and goes, but is inherently flawed. You root for Carol, but deep down you know it’s just a matter of time.
  • Maggie and Glenn – The couple who finds love in the middle of despair and will do anything to preserve that love.
  • Carl – The weakling of the group who is trying to grow into his own, but is being held back.

Now that we know which positions are open, let’s fill them to assemble the ultimate Walking Dead Dream Team.

Rick “the leader” – This is the 2nd most important pick of the whole crew, and the hardest one for me to decide. We need someone likeable enough to gain the trust of the group, tough enough to hold his own, and durable enough to make you believe he could last to the bitter end. The choice…..Tom Hanks!

Reuters
Reuters

Of course it’s Tom Hanks.Who else could pull off such range? He is more likeable than anyone else in the world and I’m not sure that it’s particularly close. He has fought in Viet – fucking – Nam, commanded a crew of astronauts, survived for years on a deserted island, and even led a rag tag group of women to a baseball championship. Now that is what I call a leader.

Daryl “the badass” – This is unequivocally the most important pick of the entire group. This is your go-to guy when everything seems lost. He needs to be Michael Jordan-level clutch, but instead of a bucket on the line, it is the lives of people that depend on him. The answer is quite simple, though, and took no time to answer. Matthew McConaughey is the only living person who could pull this off.

NBC
NBC

Looks good with his shirt off, is next-level talented, and most importantly, you believe that he is crazy in real life. Plus, when there is a quiet moment on the zombie front, you want a badass that might stay sane by smoking a joint naked and unwinding with some bongos.

Hershel “the voice of reason” – Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you the voice of reason, the one and only Mr. Liam Neeson.

USA Today
USA Today

I know you’re going to say that he is an action star, and that’s not a bad thing to fall back on, but for a voice of reason you need someone who has the confidence to tell the leader of the group that he is wrong. A confidence that comes with an smooth Irish accent and packing more than just heat. Forget Chuck Norris, give me someone that has a entire website dedicated to his enormous manhood. That is how you roll with confidence.

Carol “the wild card” – Let’s get through this quickly to save time, because nobody really cares about Carol. That’s why this pick is Madonna.

USA Today
USA Today

There are several similarities between Carol and Madonna which led me to this pick. Both were more relevant earlier in their careers. Both have a few strengths left, but very limited upside. If either of them left the show by walking jugular first into a crowd of walkers, you wouldn’t be happy, but it wouldn’t take you very long to move on.

Maggie and Glenn “the power couple” – I was tempted to go a few different ways here before settling on the choice.

EPA
EPA

I wanted to include Ben Affleck because I would love for Batman to sneak onto this list, but that would mean Jennifer Garner would have to be included, and I refuse to put a person on here who has a face like what I picture a duck’s vagina to look like. So let’s go with the next best thing in celebrity couples. Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart. I don’t care how old he is or how much you don’t like her. This is my list and I want Han Solo on it. Suck it!

Carl “the kid” – There is one person and one person only who can take this spot.

The Sixth Sense
The Sixth Sense

The one and only Haley Joel Osment. He freaking sees dead people for crying out loud. I would watch every second of a show starring him as that kid grown up in a zombie apocalypse, having conversations with walkers about mundane things and fucking with Bruce Willis. How do we make this happen? Come on Hollywood, do I have to think of everything?


Who would be the hardest zombie to kill?

Our final question is the most fun to answer, and also leads to a plot point in the show. How has the group on The Walking Dead never encountered an actual celebrity? Did they all die first or are they all hanging around Los Angeles thinking that it’s just an elaborate scheme by the illuminati? What I wouldn’t give to see Rick look over and see Andre 3000 just walking around Atlanta with Kat Williams and a bus load of women. Why can’t that be just a 2-minute deleted scene, Robert Kirkman? Why?

So the premise for my question is, why are all of the zombies equally as hard to kill? You’re telling me that I would be as easy to kill as Ray Lewis? I find that very hard to believe and need to dig into this more. Of all the people in the entire world, whose non-zombie ability would be the most lethal if it carried over to zombie form?

Shaq would be the biggest, but not the most athletic anymore. I’m sure he would be intimidating, but you could get away from him too easily now. LeBron is an obvious choice to impose his size and speed, but that is why he would never be a zombie…or would he? Who is catching LeBron to turn him into a walker? That answer gives us the most lethal zombie in the world. Can you think of who it is? I’ll give you a minute to think…..it’s right there in front of you…….give up?

telegraph uk
telegraph uk

That’s right, at 6’5” and 207 pounds, Usain Bolt is the world’s fastest man zombie. What would be more terrifying than seeing Usain Bolt screaming towards you with an “I’m going to eat your fucking face off so fast you’ll never have a chance” look on his face? He would see mere mortals as walking fast food chains and we would never stand a chance. I know for sure that if I saw Zombie Usain I would drop a captain’s log in my pants and just start running towards him to get it over with. At least there would be some dignity in getting your face ripped off by him, and in the end all anyone wants is to turn with a little bit of dignity right?

Happy Halloween!


Stephen Balding is an Entertainment Contributor for The Scoop. Follow him on Twitter at @StephenB_41.