The End is Near!!!

smosh
smosh

A Monday morning tradition of mine is to go to work, pour a cup of coffee, and discuss the events of The Walking Dead from the previous night. I read the comic books back in 2003 when they first came out, and the show is just as enjoyable for several reasons, but most importantly (to me) is talking about what just happened, and what you think might happen next.

So, on Monday, the first part of the morning is spent discussing the previous night’s events with my friend/co-worker/Singstar badass, Jenifer.

AMC
AMC

We have our individual “which main character is most likely to die next” power rankings (my list is 1. Carol, 2. Carl!!!, 3. Tyrese, 4. Michonne, 5. Maggie), and her consistent take from the show always includes her saying, “I don’t care what happens on the show, but if they kill off Daryl I’m going to lose my shit.” Never underestimate what a woman is capable of when she is in love with a bad boy with a crossbow and a heart of gold. Heads will roll if Daryl is ever killed.

These conversations got my wheels turning about what might happen if the apocalypse ever happened. Are there are signs that it’s coming and we just missed them? Which celebrities would survive? Why are there no celebrities on the show?

Harpo Productions
Harpo Productions

It makes me laugh to think of Oprah with a machine gun, going off Scarface-style in a field of walkers, yelling, “YOU GET A BULLET! YOU GET A BULLET! EVERYYYYONE GETS A BULLET!!” Don’t think for a second that Oprah isn’t running shit when it goes down.

With Halloween upon us and so many questions and theories to work through, we should work through this together. We need a plan of attack for whom to kill first, and we need to look for the signs that are already there.

I’m not trying to make an apocalypse plan for you that has been done more times than anyone cares to read. What we are doing here is trying to determine what the current version of the world will look like after patient zero bites that first poor bastard in the face. What is the fallout, and who will come out the victor? The way I see it, there are 3 separate questions that need to be answered.

  1. What were the signs that led us on a collision course to the apocalypse?
  2. Which celebrities would form the best zombie killing crew?
  3. Who would be the hardest zombie to kill?

Once we have answered these questions, then you can all sleep better at night knowing that if the zombie shit hits the fan, you at least know this is on record for future generations. Consider this the black box for them to use while unraveling where it all went wrong.

Let’s get started…


What were the signs that led us on a collision course to the apocalypse?

Clearly the signs are everywhere now, but how far back are we willing to go to look?

flickr
flickr

I’m not going too far back because I don’t want to ruin my childhood completely. The further back that you go, the more depressing it will be, trust me. You don’t believe me? I’m telling you that if I give you an example, it will bum you out. Why won’t you just leave this alone? We can just stick to more recent examples and it won’t ruin your day. Are you sure? Ok, fine, but remember that you wanted this. It’s on you now, don’t blame me.

Let’s think back to the simpler times of 1989. A time when Tom Hanks hadn’t done any dramatic work yet and was still a year away from hosting SNL a record twice in one year. He was just a funny, fun-loving guy who made us laugh with a little movie about him a dog that America fell in love with. Turner and Hooch was so much fun, right? How could you think back to that movie and have it ruin your day with a sign that the world was moving in the wrong direction? I’ll tell you how….

find a grave
find a grave

Hooch the Dog died within three years after the movie was released, and has now been dead for 22 years. Did he get his own picture on the “In Memoriam” montage at the Oscars that year? No. Did anyone give him the respect that he deserved? Nope. There was no sad song sung over a video of him, and that, in my opinion, is where society started its downward spiral. Don’t worry Hooch, your life and death won’t go unnoticed in this column. I’m pouring one out for you buddy. RIP!

As hard as it might be to believe, Hooch the Dog is our patient zero of apocalypse signs. Where did it go from there? It’s too long to catalog each step, but from Hooch to Justin Beiber to clowns roaming the streets, there is a long list of signs, each more nightmarish than the last. So instead of sappy videos about pets that have never made you laugh, how about we start paying attention to the dog from Beethoven before it’s too late?


Which celebrities would form the best zombie killing crew?

Finally! Forget about figuring out the economy; someone has needed to get to the bottom of this topic for entirely too long. We are going to answer this by playing The Walking Dead game. You know about The Walking Dead game, right? No? Ok, well The “who would be who” Walking Dead game is where you take your friends, celebrities, or pretty much anyone, and see what role they would fit if you put them into The Walking Dead crew. I like to think of myself as the badass of the group just like Daryl, walking around with a crossbow, but I’m afraid I’d be closer to Carol, the wild card who might end up with psychopath kids running around me that might have to be shot in the face. You should absolutely play this game at home. It is endless hours of entertainment just waiting to be explored.

Quick example of how it works: Of all of the Dallas-Fort Worth media, who would you put as Rick, the leader? Who would be the first to have his or her face bitten off? Who would be the Maggie/Glenn power couple that will stick together until the end?

Rick is definitely NBC DFW’s David Finfrock!

NBCDFW.com
NBCDFW.com

Don’t you think for a second that this mild-mannered meteorologist isn’t painting his face and going on a John Rambo-type warpath when all hell breaks loose. Anyone who has the confidence to rock that mustache on air for this long is hiding some massive zombie killing balls. He is going to wreck shit for sure….“I’m David Finfrock, bitch, and today there a 100% chance of sleeveless shirts and zombie dick punching!”

Jamie KellyThe first one killed out of the gate is none other than our very own founder and CEO of The Scoop, Jamie Kelly. Sorry Jamie, but anyone that gets owned by a plastic bucket on a random weekday isn’t lasting an hour with zombies on the loose.

The Maggie/Glenn power couple is the most obvious of all of them. Radio hosts and noted BFFs Ben and Skin are a no doubt choice for the post apocalypse power couple.

@nick_pants
@nick_pants

Killing zombies hand-in-hand during the day and holding each other in the rain at night to keep each other warm, and, if they are being completely honest with each other, because they are scared. Will there be some turmoil? Of course there will, especially when Ben needs some alone time after Skin’s 14th a Capella version of Kool Moe Dee’s “Wild Wild West,” which he is certain would be the apocalypse theme song if they could just find a way back on the radio. But in the end, they are just the two crazy guys to root for through it all. I hope they make it.

So, for celebrities we need one person for each role needing to be filled, and you have to think big picture. No one person is bigger than the group, so it has to be a good fit. Here are all of the roles that need to be filled:

  • Rick – The leader of the group who stops at nothing to make sure everyone is safe.
  • Daryl – The badass and bad boy who you can depend on in the direst of circumstances.
  • Hershel – The voice of reason who keeps everyone from going too far to remember what they are really fighting for.
  • Carol– The wild card who comes and goes, but is inherently flawed. You root for Carol, but deep down you know it’s just a matter of time.
  • Maggie and Glenn – The couple who finds love in the middle of despair and will do anything to preserve that love.
  • Carl – The weakling of the group who is trying to grow into his own, but is being held back.

Now that we know which positions are open, let’s fill them to assemble the ultimate Walking Dead Dream Team.

Rick “the leader” – This is the 2nd most important pick of the whole crew, and the hardest one for me to decide. We need someone likeable enough to gain the trust of the group, tough enough to hold his own, and durable enough to make you believe he could last to the bitter end. The choice…..Tom Hanks!

Reuters
Reuters

Of course it’s Tom Hanks.Who else could pull off such range? He is more likeable than anyone else in the world and I’m not sure that it’s particularly close. He has fought in Viet – fucking – Nam, commanded a crew of astronauts, survived for years on a deserted island, and even led a rag tag group of women to a baseball championship. Now that is what I call a leader.

Daryl “the badass” – This is unequivocally the most important pick of the entire group. This is your go-to guy when everything seems lost. He needs to be Michael Jordan-level clutch, but instead of a bucket on the line, it is the lives of people that depend on him. The answer is quite simple, though, and took no time to answer. Matthew McConaughey is the only living person who could pull this off.

NBC
NBC

Looks good with his shirt off, is next-level talented, and most importantly, you believe that he is crazy in real life. Plus, when there is a quiet moment on the zombie front, you want a badass that might stay sane by smoking a joint naked and unwinding with some bongos.

Hershel “the voice of reason” – Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you the voice of reason, the one and only Mr. Liam Neeson.

USA Today
USA Today

I know you’re going to say that he is an action star, and that’s not a bad thing to fall back on, but for a voice of reason you need someone who has the confidence to tell the leader of the group that he is wrong. A confidence that comes with an smooth Irish accent and packing more than just heat. Forget Chuck Norris, give me someone that has a entire website dedicated to his enormous manhood. That is how you roll with confidence.

Carol “the wild card” – Let’s get through this quickly to save time, because nobody really cares about Carol. That’s why this pick is Madonna.

USA Today
USA Today

There are several similarities between Carol and Madonna which led me to this pick. Both were more relevant earlier in their careers. Both have a few strengths left, but very limited upside. If either of them left the show by walking jugular first into a crowd of walkers, you wouldn’t be happy, but it wouldn’t take you very long to move on.

Maggie and Glenn “the power couple” – I was tempted to go a few different ways here before settling on the choice.

EPA
EPA

I wanted to include Ben Affleck because I would love for Batman to sneak onto this list, but that would mean Jennifer Garner would have to be included, and I refuse to put a person on here who has a face like what I picture a duck’s vagina to look like. So let’s go with the next best thing in celebrity couples. Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart. I don’t care how old he is or how much you don’t like her. This is my list and I want Han Solo on it. Suck it!

Carl “the kid” – There is one person and one person only who can take this spot.

The Sixth Sense
The Sixth Sense

The one and only Haley Joel Osment. He freaking sees dead people for crying out loud. I would watch every second of a show starring him as that kid grown up in a zombie apocalypse, having conversations with walkers about mundane things and fucking with Bruce Willis. How do we make this happen? Come on Hollywood, do I have to think of everything?


Who would be the hardest zombie to kill?

Our final question is the most fun to answer, and also leads to a plot point in the show. How has the group on The Walking Dead never encountered an actual celebrity? Did they all die first or are they all hanging around Los Angeles thinking that it’s just an elaborate scheme by the illuminati? What I wouldn’t give to see Rick look over and see Andre 3000 just walking around Atlanta with Kat Williams and a bus load of women. Why can’t that be just a 2-minute deleted scene, Robert Kirkman? Why?

So the premise for my question is, why are all of the zombies equally as hard to kill? You’re telling me that I would be as easy to kill as Ray Lewis? I find that very hard to believe and need to dig into this more. Of all the people in the entire world, whose non-zombie ability would be the most lethal if it carried over to zombie form?

Shaq would be the biggest, but not the most athletic anymore. I’m sure he would be intimidating, but you could get away from him too easily now. LeBron is an obvious choice to impose his size and speed, but that is why he would never be a zombie…or would he? Who is catching LeBron to turn him into a walker? That answer gives us the most lethal zombie in the world. Can you think of who it is? I’ll give you a minute to think…..it’s right there in front of you…….give up?

telegraph uk
telegraph uk

That’s right, at 6’5” and 207 pounds, Usain Bolt is the world’s fastest man zombie. What would be more terrifying than seeing Usain Bolt screaming towards you with an “I’m going to eat your fucking face off so fast you’ll never have a chance” look on his face? He would see mere mortals as walking fast food chains and we would never stand a chance. I know for sure that if I saw Zombie Usain I would drop a captain’s log in my pants and just start running towards him to get it over with. At least there would be some dignity in getting your face ripped off by him, and in the end all anyone wants is to turn with a little bit of dignity right?

Happy Halloween!


Stephen Balding is an Entertainment Contributor for The Scoop. Follow him on Twitter at @StephenB_41.

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Nicolas Cage (Bat Shit Crazy in the Best Possible Way) Power Rankings

For years now, the brilliance of Nicolas Cage has been written off so much that Leaving Las Vegas is now considered an aberration. That is just simply not the case.

Leaving Las Vegas
Lumiere Pictures

If you re-watch LLV now, you can see that the transformation from brilliant actor to hall of fame crazy person was at its peak level. A place in his career where the planets aligned and the role was tailor-made perfectly for him. Both for his amazing, at the time, acting chops and also a burgeoning craziness which would combine in such a way that I like to think he felt alive for the first time.

Now don’t get me wrong, there were always signals that it would just be a matter of time before the crazy lurking behind those eyes would make it to the surface. Take a look back at his performance in Peggy Sue Got Married, and you could smell the crazy trying to get out. “I’ve got the hair, I’ve got the teeth, I’ve got the eyes” takes on a whole new meaning now that we know how the next 28 years would play out. That feels like something he says, in a creepy Stuart Smalley way to himself in the mirror every day to get started.

So now that we see that the signs were there, how do we incorporate them into the power rankings? The answer is much simpler than you think.

There was a time around 1995 that Nicolas Cage was replaced with Nic Cage. It was a subtle transition, but one that gained him box office success like he had never seen before. The 4 movies that he starred in before LLV were Guarding Tess, It Could Happen to You, Trapped in Paradise, and Kiss of Death. Combined, those 4 movies made a total of $85 million at the box office. Not bad for mid-90s numbers, and pretty good in his entire run of being Nicolas. Then in 1995, LLV came out, he won an Oscar, and changed to Nic Cage Box Office Fucking Superstar. Don’t believe me you say? How did nobody catch this at the time? You also say….in my head, but still. Here is why it was subtle. The 3 movies he starred in after LLV were, in order, The Rock, Con Air, and Face Off, and everyone was fully on board with each movie. I don’t care what you think about them now, I remember quoting Stanley Goodspeed lines as a high school movie junkie and every last person I knew loved “Nic”.

Still don’t believe me? Fine, to further illustrate my point, those 3 movies grossed a combined $347(!!!) million from 1996 – 1997. Three movies, two years, all as Nic. You think it’s the hair that changed him, but it was the name all along. Don’t’ beat yourself up about it, I just have more free time than you and like to tackle the hard-hitting questions that have been plaguing us as a society.

So now that we know how it happened, let’s spend absolutely zero time hoping that he goes back to Nicolas. We’re here to appreciate him for the glorious freak show that he has turned into. He did it for me. He did it for you. He did it for the greater good of humanity for Christ’s sake! These power rankings are my own and subject to change at my own personal whimsy. They are 100% accurate, so if you think one of them is wrong, it is not, and don’t try to convince me otherwise.

5. The Rock

 

This is where it all started and to this day is one of the best movies that he ever did.

The Rock
Hollywood Pictures

Very rewatchable and has the absolute perfect Nicolas to Nic ratio that makes it my favorite performance of his. Non-crazy performance that is. This is just a perfect movie on so many levels, from the casting to the story. Also, don’t tell me that Cage finding all of the secrets at the end didn’t set him directly on a path to National Treasure. You know who is a National Treasure? You are Nic Cage; you are an absolute treasure.

4. The Wicker Man

Shockingly, this is not the worst Cage film of all time, but holy shit it is a delight.

The Wicker Man
Warner Bros.

He screams his questions, dresses up as a bear, and for some reason randomly punches women. Women…plural. So what is the logical conclusion to this movie? He gets sacrificed and the town puts a bee helmet put on him. What else could happen?

“WHAT IS THAT?? NOT THE BEES, NO, NOT THE BEES!!! OH MY EYES!! AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

Game. Set. Match. Bitches.

3. Con Air

Nic Cage gave us an absolute blessing with one of his all-time Nic Cagiest performances that could not be any better.

Con Air
Touchstone Pictures

A first ballot hall of fame (I’m talking Babe Ruth level) fake Southern accent as Cameron Poe, the ex con/ex-Army Ranger/ex hair cut getting guy with a wife beater and a heart of gold. Long hair, stubble, and an undying love for the kid he has never met and the wife he left behind. You know it’s undying by the fact that he murders a fellow con for not putting the bunny back in the box. Why couldn’t he just put the bunny back in that damned box?

2. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call – New Orleans

A combination of bad script, worse title, and the worst casting leads us to this powder keg performance.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call - New Orleans
Millennium Films

Teaming Nic Cage doing the best Nic Cage things, with Werner Herzog directing, had to happen with someone over at First Look Studios having their daughter kidnapped and forced to make this movie. I like to think green-lighting this movie went something like this…

Studio Exec 1: “How do we ensure that we get the craziest movie we can to be seen in theaters?”

Studio Exec 2: “We could cast Nic Cage.”

Studio Exec 1: “But, how do we get his craziest performance in 20 years?”

Cleaning Person: “Let’s have him smoke crack in the movie.”

Someone’s Kid: “Perfect, but we need to cast Xzibit as one of the co-leads.”

Homeless Drifter: “I love that idea; let’s seal it by touching the tip of our dicks together.”

Sean Connery: “You guys are my best friends.”

This is by far the worst Cage movie in a very long list of bad Cage movies. That deserves to be stated again. This is the WORST movie that Nic Cage has ever made. That puts it right up there with the Titanic, Hindenburg, and Hitler as Mount Rushmore level bad things (yes, I just compared a movie to Hitler and no I do not regret it). This movie is so gloriously bad as a drama that it could almost be one of the top ten comedies of all-time. Oh, how I love this movie so!

1. Vampire’s Kiss

Remember this movie? Of course you don’t, because nobody saw it, and thankfully nobody did or we would have missed out on a significant chunk of Nic Cage.

Vampire's Kiss
Magellan Pictures

Now I know that I told you before that there were signs of Nic Cage looming, but this entire movie is Nicolas Cage being full on Nic Cage long before that was a thing. Back in 1987, nobody was hotter than Nicolas Cage (I’m looking at you Steve Guttenberg). Coming off of Raising Arizona and Moonstruck, he was white hot and could have been in any movie of his choosing. So what did he do? He took two years off and released this movie in 1989 and NOBODY saw it. So much so that it only grossed $725,000 for its entire theatrical release. That is a shockingly low number considering Moonstruck somehow made $87 million with Cage and Cher as the stars. The 80s will never cease to amaze me.

You might have missed it then, but I implore you to watch it now. Do not miss your chance to see Nic Cage turning from a crazy person to a crazy vampire. One so crazy that he recites the entire alphabet to his therapist, so convincingly crazy, that her reaction has to be real. You will never convince me that is not genuine fear in her eyes as she says, “You really know your alphabet.” It is now, and forever will be, at the top of the power rankings. Find this movie and tell all of your friends about it. You won’t regret it.


Stephen Balding is an Entertainment Contributor for The Scoop. Follow him on Twitter at @StephenB_41.

My cinematic life

The Voice of Reason: Use Your Voice, Now!

This October, you, as a voter get to have your voice heard. The only problem is, with apathy so rampant, NOBODY VOTES. NOBODY.

RVANews.com
RVANews.com

According to the Federal Elections Commission, Gubernatorial election turnout averages only 28.4 percent in Texas. 28.4%. That’s it! We’re allowing a little over a quarter of the voting populace to decide who leads our state. How many of those people who vote even pay attention to the issues? How many vote simply because of party affiliation?

If this is you, shame on you. Why not do some research on the candidates and see which one falls in line with your thinking? Sometimes the “liberal” can be more fiscally conservative than the “conservative.” Sometimes the “conservative” cares more about the “little man” than the “liberal” does.

In the Texas gubernatorial election, you have the choice between two candidates.

Texas Tribune

Candidate #1 is Greg Abbott, the current Texas Attorney General. He runs as a Republican.  He’s been a State District Judge, Supreme Court Judge, and now, serves as the Attorney General. He has experience in state government. His biography reads as such: Greg Abbott is one of the nation’s leading advocates for stopping the federal overreach of the Obama Administration, a defender of the Constitution, and a conservative to the core.

Texas Tribune2

Candidate #2 is Wendy Davis, a current State Senator. She is an attorney who worked with her husband before going their separate ways. Davis is a relative newcomer to politics, after serving as a Fort Worth city councilwoman and then as a state senator. Her biography reads like this: In 2011, Senator Davis stood up and filibustered a budget that slashed over $5 billion from our public schools. And Wendy’s leadership in the legislature was instrumental in getting a majority of that funding restored to the budget in 2013.

It doesn’t matter who you vote for, as long as you make your voice heard. If you don’t vote, then you have no right to criticize the elected officials. This is when YOU get a change to make a difference. The apathy is everywhere, with people grumbling about candidate X or candidate Y.

If you’ve had enough, take a stand. Vote for the person who most follows your line of thinking and for the love of Pete, DO NOT simply vote ( R ) or ( D ) because, “That’s what we’ve always done.”

Early voting began this Monday, so the time is now to go out and make your voice heard. Question is, will you? Or will you allow someone else to speak for you?

Don’t even get me started on the Texas Lt. Governor’s race. Do you even know who’s running? Sigh.

Answer: Dan Patrick (R) 
Leticia Van de Putte (D)

Take ten minutes of your day to read up on the candidates. Your future is worth it! Click here for information on early voting locations across the state of Texas.

Let Your Voice Be Heard. Please.


Ronnie Garcia is The Voice of Reason at The Scoop. Follow him on Twitter at @CapnDD.

 

The Voice of Reason: What Kind of Dance is This?

At some point in our lives, we have to bite the bullet and purchase a new vehicle.

What's it gonna take to you get YOU in this car TODAY?
What’s it gonna take to you get YOU in this car TODAY?

It’s a part of life.  It is a rite of passage, inevitable, like death and taxes. What I don’t get is all the song and dance we have to go thru to finalize the “deal.” How hard is it? I need a car, they have cars for sale. Simple. Right?

Wrong.

I’m in the process of buying a “new” vehicle. Well, technically it is a used truck, but it’s new to me. I’m okay with that because I figured out a long time ago to buy used. Let someone else take the depreciation hit for a couple of years. That way, all I am paying for is the actual value of the vehicle. Sounds simple, right?

I LOATHE going to car dealerships because of the dance we have to do before the deal is consummated. First off, the “sticker price” is not the actual price. Wait, what? Yeah. The “sticker price” is a negotiating place that hopefully will go in your favor. Here’s how it goes down:

You tell the salesman which vehicle you want, and he counters by affirming that you have made a great choice, but lets you know that he has other customers looking at it, too, conveying a sense of urgency that if you don’t get it now, it will be gone. Then he tallies up the cost of the vehicle with tax, title, and license and he gives you the “price.” You then counter back because the payment of $xxx is too much for you. At this point, you’re done. He will then tell you he has to go and “talk with the sales manager” about the deal to see what can be done.

Voilà!

2012-32-01-used-car-dealerHe comes back to you with “good news!” He’s worked out a lower payment per month, and it is just under your maximum budgeted amount.  You then counter with a different offer. You have now both engaged in performing the “forbidden dance” of saving the customer money! He tells you that the manager will kill him for doing this, but alas, you get the car of your dreams for the amount you want.

What they don’t tell you is that inside all the financing mumbo jumbo, they stick it to you with fees and other sundry items that will make your head spin. Ugh.

Not making an endorsement, but I like to buy my vehicles from dealers who have “no haggle” prices. What you see is what you get. What I’m getting is a dang good deal for my truck and I am very happy about it.

As I leave the dealership, I tell my wife, “Nope, not buying that here, from him.” We leave and the salesman thinks, “Got him! Another sucker in my pocket!” And thus, goes the dance of the human being who just wants to pay a fair price for a good vehicle without someone mucking it all up with sales managers, finance managers, or some other office clod who makes money off of him.

Sorry boys, but my dance card is filled! 


Ronnie Garcia is the voice of reason at The Scoop. Follow him on Twitter at @CapnDD.

 

Top 5 Handheld Games

Nintendo GameboyFor me, it all started back in the day with this big grey rectangular device with a green screen. Before the days of being able to play every game ever created on every device imaginable, there was only Snake, and handheld systems like the original Nintendo Gameboy. These were the first steps towards today’s young gamer’s paradise. After the original Gameboy took the world by storm, it was followed by the Gameboy Color, PSP, Nintendo DS, and a host of others. While you try to remember the last time you played an original Gameboy, I give to you my Top 5 Handheld Games of all time.


TWD-game-cover.jpg

#5. THE WALKING DEAD- PS VITA

It was great being able to play this game on the go, as The Walking Dead is by far one of my favorite TV shows to watch. Developed by the same company that made the Sam & Max games, the first rendition of The Walking Dead games was a real hit. Granted, this game could be played on phones and home consoles, but my first playthrough was on the underrated PS Vita. The thing that made this game different from the other iterations was the fact that it came with the excellent 400 Days DLC, and all the episodes were already unlocked, so you didn’t have to wait. The story-telling is great, and you really feel a connection to the characters, considering the fact that you control, interact, and choose pretty much everything in the game. Playing this game was a very entertaining and engaging experience. The best way to describe it is that it is like a “choose your own adventure” game where your decisions/actions actually matter and shape the experience. The voice acting is superb, as is the character development and mood setting.

MegaManXtreme.jpg

#4. MEGA MAN XTREME- GAMEBOY COLOR

Released in 2001, Mega Man (or Rockman to the folks in Japan) has been around for years. Capcom has drastically restructured the design for Xtreme to include the best stages of Mega Man X and Mega Man X2, as well as a few original final boss stages, all wrapped around a completely new storyline that doesn’t completely explain itself until you play through the game in Normal, Hard, and finally Xtreme modes. It was rather surprising how the animation of the characters and enemies stood out so well considering the limits of the Game Boy Color, but the handheld did a great job at keeping the game running smoothly. Zero’s theme song sounded great in every scene, and all the themes pretty much matched the original games. Mega Man Xtreme was one of the best games on Game Boy Color and is still fun to play to this day.


WATCH: Dominic discusses his Top 5 Handheld Games list!


 

Power Stone.jpg

#3. POWER STONE COLLECTION- PSP

When the Power Stone Collection came to the PSP, I was beyond excited. These games were classics in their own right on the Dreamcast, so the fact that they brought them to the PSP was a treat for everybody. Imagine the most outrageous barroom brawl, transpose it to vibrant three-dimensional settings as varied as a medieval dungeon, the deck of a submarine, or a space station, then nitro-boost the pace and steroid-feed the combat until only one of the stylized characters is left standing; that’s Power Stone Collection. Both games in the set looked great on the handhelds, and the multi-player was phenomenal. Considering that Power Stone 2 came out in 2000, it was great to see how well the game held up. Power Stone and Power Stone 2 appear basically as they did on the Dreamcast in Power Stone Collection, though they’ve both been modified to include widescreen support (purists can choose the original 4:3 aspect ratio if they please). The AI was still challenging, and every fight felt different. Fun is the only thing Power Stone Collection cares about; authenticity is flung through the window.

Tetris

#2. TETRIS- GAMEBOY COLOR

The game that started my whole handheld experience, as well as my frustration, was Tetris. I still can’t get the song out of my head. Tetris has a simple premise, but the game has so much variety to it that it’s ridiculous. Trying to fit every piece into the right slot was fun yet challenging at the same, although a lot of batteries died while I was playing this game. There’s really not a lot to be said about this game that people don’t know already; the nostalgic feeling is what will forever be great to me.

God of War Chains of Olympus NA version front cover.jpg

#1. GOD OF WAR CHAINS OF OLYMPUS- PSP

I loved this game so much I bought the custom God of War PSP. Since God of War is a Playstation exclusive, it was only a matter of time before Kratos took his violence on the go. Ready at Dawn was already successful with their game (Daxter), so there was no worry that this game was going to be great. This game was epic. Story wise, it was actually a prequel to the original God of War game, so you got even more of Kratos’ back story. It actually is a little more “emotional” than the other games because you see Kratos more as a man than an angry, killing machine. I will say my main gripe with this game was the lack of a second controller analog stick, which played a vital role in the PS2 adaptations, but that’s only a small complaint. Other than that, the controller scheme is pretty much the same as its PS2 counter-part, which adds a sense of familiarity to the game. It looked like they pushed the handheld to its graphical limits because this game looked FANTASTIC. For such a big game on a smaller system I was impressed by the lack of loading screens while playing the game. It was one of the best hand-held games ever played and was a PSP-seller.

Honorable Mention

  • Road Rash – Game Boy Color
  • Duke Nukem Advance – Game Boy Advance
  • Metal Slug Advance – Game Boy Advance